Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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