C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
