Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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