Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
