Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize