It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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