I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
