I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
