New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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