hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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