Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i think i have herpe
just one?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
