she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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