I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
