ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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