Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
