life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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