You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I could make wine with my vomit
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
