As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
