Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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