...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize