I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize