JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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