oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
