Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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