After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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