everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
wow bdsm is so cute
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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