i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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