my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
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