I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize