Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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