Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
