garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
