dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
