As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
