I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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