Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We are two peas in an std pod
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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