you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
