I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
