you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
