i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
