dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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