People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
