nut hugger
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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