how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
