she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
even my farts smell like vagina
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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