Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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