whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
