the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
