How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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