a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
