I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
