Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
