Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
