Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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