i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
