Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
false alarm. still invincible.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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